Boy Scouts of America (B.S.A. B.S.)

The wife and I were away this past week and it wasn't until yesterday that I learned about the Boy Scouts of America and their decision to let openly gay scouts join their ranks.  The decision has created a spark within our local Troop and I for one am very disappointed in the decision for one reason.

I'm disappointed that a private organization gave in to political pressure from parties that have no vested interest.  What's this world coming to when a private, social-club can't decide for themselves who can or cannot join?   What's next?  Are tree-houses going to start getting pressured into allowing girls in?  That's a world I don't want to live in.

The BSA's decision doesn't bother me.  What bothers me is the response I've seen on other blogs and heard from Christian parents that are ripping their kids out of Boy Scout troops and starting their own groups.  Many parents have said that the Scouts have lost their Christian values by allowing gay scouts to join.  I was taking the my son to scouts for about seven months before I even knew it was a Christian organization.

I took the boy to an outdoor campfire meeting and the topic was about faith.  When the leader started mentioning God and Jesus I started cringing.  You never know what kind of Christian you're talking to.  Is it the God-is-Love type or the You-danced-at-a-party-and-are-going-to-Hell type?  I didn't know where he was going with his lesson and feared we had joined a cult.  After all, the meetings were always followed by punch.

That night was the first I knew of the Boys Scouts and their Christian tradition.  This is what bothers me about the reaction by some people.  If  you are going to take a Christian perspective, why wouldn't you want to allow those people you feel need God (in this case, homosexuals) into your group?  What better way to show them God's love than to invite them into your circle and interact with them.  I'm not saying you have to share the same sleeping bag, but you could at least invite them to go camping.  If they can't hear about God from your Christian Troop, then where will they?

And let's not forget who we're talking about when we say Scouts.  We're talking about young adults, kids really, under the age of 18.  These kids are just looking for a place to fit in--a sense of belonging.  And your Christian response is to push them away while teaching the "straight" scouts to do the same?  Please, by all means, start your own group.  I'm sure Westboro would be proud to sponsor your splinter cell.

Jesus was fairly inclusive.  About the only people he ever excluded were the religious leaders of his day--the same religious people who turned away whores and hated people of ethnicity unlike their own.  If you want to play the Christian card that's fine, but don't play that card while you're shunning the same people you should be loving.

Don't Let Your Kids Play Outside

This is what happens when kids are allowed to play outside:



I think what the mother means when she says "play outside" is "riding scooters in the street".  And when she says "I was watching the whole time", I think she means to say, "I was inside drinking and watching Lifetime."

What was she thinking letting her kids play outside in the first place?  Apparently, she's never seen an episode of Without A Trace.  The outside world is a scary place lady.  It's full of sexual predators, drug dealers, and politicians.

Kids don't need exercise and fresh air.  They belong indoors, away from sunlight, and plugged into some source of constant stimulation.   Each child should own at least two video gaming systems and either a desktop or laptop computer.  Desktops are preferred as laptops can be taken outdoors.

This will help cure your child's desire to play outside.  If he shows an interest in playing sports outside with the neighbor kids, you're in luck.  There are numerous sports games available, in fact, there are two or three new ones released every year. "But my kid wants to ride his skateboard" you say.  No problem, between the Tony Hawk franchise and Skate series of games, your child will be more interested in pulling off physically impossible moves indoors than moving physically outdoors.

Perfect parenting at its best.

The television is ideal for younger children who are easily entertained by bright colors, talking animals, and funny noises.  So what if your child never learns how to swing or ride a bike.  Those skills are only useful for a small period of time.  Most people stop riding bikes when they learn to drive and swinging is something completely different when you get older.  As a good parent, you should teach your child a skill they can use for life, i.e., watching television.

Eventually, your child may decide that sitting alone on the couch watching t.v. isn't enough.  Older kids crave social interaction with their peers.  Thankfully, there are cell phones.

Cell phones, if used wisely, can be a great tool for keeping your children indoors.  The danger lies in its portability.  If you can keep your tween confined to the couch, checking Facebook all day, then congratulations.  Beware though, the second your child walks outside to start texting, you run the risk of them deciding to ride their bikes.  Better to skip the anti-glare screen so using their phone in the sun is impossible.

The addition of sugary drinks is a classic parenting move.

I'm just thankful for the arresting officers' quick response that insured this mother was taken to jail immediately.  There's no need to waste time verifying the neighbor's complaint or asking the mother for her side of the story.    She was obviously just a concerned citizen whose quick decision may be the best thing for these children.  Slap those cuffs on and hash it out "downtown".

Hauling Momma off to jail in that pretty pink basket was the hard part.

A little parenting advice for all you concerned Mommies and Daddies out there:  If you want to avoid an 18 hour sleep over in a jail cell, it's best to keep your kids on lock down in your house.

You're not trying to keep burglars out, you're trying to keep children in.

Flash Mob Rob Job?

I remember when flash mobs used to be a bunch of idiots pulling off choreographed dance moves in high-end retail stores or parades of people having pillow fights in public places.  Now the term is being applied to a bunch of idiots that robbed a clothing store.

On Saturday, around 20 teenagers stormed into a Chicago clothing store and ran away with almost 3 grand in jeans.  Sounds like a lot of denim right?  Wrong!  These over-priced jeans went for around $200 a pair, meaning the "flash mob" only got away with about 15 pairs of pants; that's not even enough pants to cover the look-outs.



I'm not a fan of flash mobs anyway, their mild amusement is far outweighed by their major annoyance, but let us spare flash mobs a bad name and call this what it is.   These are flash mobs:




Harmless, usually stupid, and sometimes romantic are the way flash mobs are supposed to be.   Technically speaking, a bunch of people showed up somewhere (high-priced clothing store), did something (robbed it), and left quickly (the get-away), that's a flash mob.

Technically speaking, you're an asshole; you also misspelled glass.

But, what happened at the clothing store was a pre-planned robbery not a group of nerds congregating under the guise of "social experiments".  I guess "Kids Steal Pants" isn't as good of a headline as "Flash Mob Robbers Steal $3,000".  The misleading Yahoo headline had me clicking on the article, only to be  disappointed that the surveillance video didn't show the kids dancing while they swiped their swag.  I had high hopes.  Crooks don't rob with style anymore.

Please, if any members of criminal society are reading this, you have already ruined Astronauts,

Astronauts used to be cool Lisa. They used to be cool.

Firefighters,

Anthony Cilento. Your name is cool. Drug-trafficking for the Bonanno crime family is  not

and Beavis.

I don't know who that dude is or what he did, but I'll never see Beavis the same way again

Please leave flash mobs alone.

Bikini Onesie

Why do I ever bother looking at "Trending Now" on Yahoo's homepage?  Once in a great while there is actually something worth reading like, "God Particle Found" or "Cat Lady Suicide".  More often than not it's celebrity crap like "Casey Anthony Reads Hunger Games" or "Tom Cruise Calls Katie Holmes "Kate".  I'm not making up those last two headlines by the way.  If this is the drivel that most internet users are actually reading, we are not far from an Idiocracy with Luke Wilson as our president.

Teaching Your Kids To Stick It To The Man

Recently, a 22 year old Pennsylvania man learned a lesson that I believe all children should learn.  It's a lesson that I want to instill in my children and my children's children.  It's called "Sticking It To The Man.  According to news reports, Joseph Bucci of Feasterville found an extra 69,300 dollars in his Wells Fargo account, an account which Bucci says previously had about 40 dollars in it  (Read the article about the PA man charged after spending almost 70000 dollars mistakenly deposited into his account).  He then went on to spend over 67,000 dollars of that money on  a new car, clothes, home furnishings, vacations and helping out his family members with bills.   Now the bank wants it back and he has been charged with theft and receiving stolen property, both felonies.


  What bothers me is not that he spent the money, for that I say "BRAVO!!!"  What bothers me is that he is facing felony charges for spending money given to him that wasn't his and not paying it back.  Sound familiar.  Let's all say it together...BAILOUT!.


Hey banks, remember when us taxpayers gave you a bunch of money that wasn't yours and you did whatever it is you do with money, and then never paid it all back?  That was a few years ago and we haven't exactly charged any of you with felonies yet.  I will congratulate Wells Fargo on being one of the few banks that has returned all of it's borrowed money.  But please, give the kid a break, drop the charges, and give him a few years to pay it back.  The only thing he's guilty of is doing unto the banks as the banks have done unto us.


When it comes to teaching your kids morality there are two very distinct sets of rules.  One set of morals applies to living, breathing, human beings and can be summed up in one golden rule..."Don't Be A Dick".  The other applies to faceless, heartless corporations that have one bottom line in mind and can be summed up thusly..."Stick It To The Man".  Should he have given the money back as soon as he noticed an extra 69 grand in his account?  Perhaps.  Should he face criminal charges for benefiting from an institution that has done the same?  Debatable.  Should I hope my kids would do the same thing in the same situation? 

Yes,  I have bills to pay.