Thursday, December 13, 2012

Best Christmas Gift Ever

This year, I'm giving my kids the best Christmas gift ever.  Check it out.  Here's a picture of our Christmas tree.


And here's a picture of all the presents I'm buying the kids.


You don't see any presents?  Exactly.  I'm not buying anything for the kids this Christmas.  Man, it feels really good to type that.

There are many reasons to not buy my kids anything, the largest one being that they don't need anything.  They have more toys than they could play with, most of which we have not bought.  Gram-gram loves her yard sales (I hate 'em) and thanks to her relentless weekend-after-weekend summer escapades, our basement is overcrowded and underused.

We've been slowly working on

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Santa Game


I'm not playing the Santa game.  You know, the one where parents lie to their children about a fat guy in a red suit that delivers presents annually.  I'm not against anyone that wants to play this game with their kids, I just feel that there are better reasons not to play.

First off, I don't want the fictitious fatty getting credit for any of the crap I buy for the kids.  We're not buying much for them anyway (I'll rant about that in another post), but I want my children to know that their Momma and I bought what little junk there is.  It's a small thing really, but I remember Santa bringing tons of presents to me as a child while Mom and Dad only bought a couple of things.  When you're a kid, love for you is measured by how many presents you get.  Santa (whom I've never seen) loved me more than Mom and Dad.  Those cheapskates!

Another great reason to avoid Santa talk is because I'm the authority in the house, not Jolly Old Saint Nick.  Walk into any store around Christmas time and you'll probably hear a kid being told to behave because Santa is watching.  Grow some balls and tell your kids to behave because YOU are watching.  Who's the authority in your house, you or Santa?

Friday, July 6, 2012

Wal Mart's Latest Policy

WalMart policy on alcohol

It's ridiculous enough that I get carded for buying alcohol when I have all three children with me, but Wal-Mart's newest policy on selling alcohol may be the dumbest policy I've ever heard.  I'm not sure if this is a nation wide thing or just a local chain cracking down, but apparently, if you purchase alcohol now, they want to

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Bikini Onesie

Why do I ever bother looking at "Trending Now" on Yahoo's homepage?  Once in a great while there is actually something worth reading like, "God Particle Found" or "Cat Lady Suicide".  More often than not it's celebrity crap like "Casey Anthony Reads Hunger Games" or "Tom Cruise Calls Katie Holmes "Kate".  I'm not making up those last two headlines by the way.  If this is the drivel that most internet users are actually reading, we are not far from an Idiocracy with Luke Wilson as our president.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Parenting Fail

We enjoy taking the kids down to the Alton Riverfront each year to watch the fireworks; the kids love it and it gets us out of the house.  The people that show up are almost as fun to watch, but I'll save that for another post.  But what really amazed me about last night's outing was how so much, yelling, spanking, crying and spandex could have been avoided.

ATTN: PARENTS!!!  Stop setting yourselves up for failure!

Last night we sat under a pavilion, in the park, by the river, near a playground.  (Hooray for prepositions!)  The whole point of us sitting near the playground was to

Affiliate Disclosure

 More boring legal stuff that I didn't write, but I'm pretty sure I have to include on here.

Please be aware that whenever you click on some links/ads found throughout many of my posts, and purchase any products and or services on these pages, I may receive a referral commission for any products and/or services that you decide to purchase.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Privacy Policy

 The following information is a ridiculously long privacy policy that I didn't write and that most people will not read anyway.  But, like my affiliate disclosure, I think it have to have it.  So here you go...

Don't Paint Your Face With A Screwdriver

This is the rule that started it all.  I'm sure I've yelled out crazy rules to (or perhaps at) my children before, but it takes something like this coming out of your mouth to make you stop and reflect.

About two summers ago we started finishing our basement.  After a month or four of hanging, taping, mudding and sanding the drywall, it was time to paint.  I was about halfway done with the entire basement when I had just finished using up my last can of paint...or so I thought.  I left what I thought was an empty can of paint just laying on the

Friday, June 29, 2012

Cat In Heat

Nothing says summer like a heat wave.  Yesterday's temperature brought a record-breaking 108 degrees and we face similar triple digit threats today and perhaps through early next week.  Up until now, I had successfully exiled our new cat (whom I am allergic to) to the back deck.  When my wife came home and found the cat, which my son decided to name Sparky, panting outside, she decided to