My Foot Book

 I recently picked up a copy of the newly released "My Foot Book" by up and coming author Libby.  I usually prefer to shy away from mononymous authors and musicians alike as I find it pretentious, but I've recognized the name from some of her concept art such as, "Poopy Diaper On A Bathroom Wall" and "Kitty Litter Clump In My Mouth" so I thought I'd give it a shot.

Upon seeing the front cover, I instantly recognized the artistic genius that Libby is so well known for.  Next to the full cover-length cut-out of a foot is an abstract shape that to some may slightly resemble a foot, but may also be interpreted in many ways.  Is it a broccoli floret?  A broken femur? A clump of kitty litter?

She leaves it up to you the reader to decide.  She's saying, "We all know what 'society' tells us a foot should look like, but this is MY FOOT, this is the truth I see behind society's illusion".  Fascinating ideas presented on the cover alone had me excited to really dive into this short story and see what other treasures await inside.

Wow, what an amazing poem to open with.  Feet are funny are they not?  They often go both left and right, as well as to and fro.  To the outside observer it may often seem like we're lost, just trying to figure out whether we want to go left or fro.  But here is the brilliance in the short composition, no matter what it may look like our feet are doing, they know which way to go.  We ourselves might not even understand it at the time, but the feet do!



Adding even more depth to this opening page is the fact that the author decided to use Comic Sans for the script.  While largely frowned upon in the editing community, I feel like here she is making another point.  What is it?  I don't know.  I have struggled with this and wrestled with it for almost a week now and her brilliance in choosing this font has surpassed my ability to reason.  Great work!

No beating around the bush here.  She gets straight to the point.  This is my right foot.  She just lays it all out there for everybody to see.  I find it interesting that although the author is (as far as I know) a Caucasian writer of Dutch decent, what we see here is not simply a white or peach foot.  We see a foot of many colors.  She doesn't just stand on her own ancestry and history.  She stands tall, united with all colors, working together to create a path not just for herself, but for all those who in unison stand together and say, "THIS IS MY RIGHT FOOT!"

Purple has long represented power, authority, and royalty.  Here the author show us her strength.  I find it quite revealing that whereas the previous foot was many colors, in this painting, she only uses purple signifying just how much strength she has.  Truly she is an empowered female and she seeks to motivate and empower the rest of us.

She closes the book with a painting of her left foot.  My one complaint about the story is that I feel like she already introduced us to her left foot on the previous page.  This just feels like gratuitous foot painting at this point, but perhaps that is all part of her genius.

The left foot or hand has always been considered the weak foot/hand and I think that here she may be playing upon our pre-conceived notions of weakness.  Once again, she uses multiple colors signifying unity among us all.  I find it interesting that she has used purple too.  Even in our left-footed 'weakness' (as determined by society) we can be strong.

Overall, I'd say the debut short story from Libby was magnificent.  It was full of imagery and cultural critiques that you just don't find in many writers today.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

I see an artist that paints like he's three!

Why is Eric Carle famous?  His illustrations are absolutely horrific.  Just take a second and look at the Picasso-esque bear above and know that comparing Carle's work to Picasso is not a compliment.  Everything after Pablo's "Rose Period" looked worse than any bear, firefly, or hungry caterpillar that Carle ever brought into existence.

The only thing worse than having to look at the poor punishment that Carle inflicted upon the paper found in his books is having to read the mind-numbing words of his partner Bill Martin Jr.   In Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?, Martin uses a combination of 36 different words.  Ten of these words are repeated ten times using the same formula:

(Insert Animal Here), (Repeat previous animal's name here)
What do you hear?
I hear a (Insert the name of whatever poorly drawn animal is on the next page)
(Making a noise) in my ear.

I will give Carle credit for being a better author than he is an artist.  We also have a copy of Little Cloud that my daughter loves to read.   Fortunately, it is nowhere near as formulaic as Martin's work, but, it loses Daddy points for not rhyming.  If only he would have subcontracted the illustrations.



Little Cloud may actually be a work of genius.  His pictures accurately portray the amount of imagination you need to use to turn white blobs into meaningful shapes.

Eric Carle has illustrated over 70 books and sold more than 103 million copies worldwide.   This fact confirms my theory that you can label something art and somebody, somewhere will be willing to buy it.  Thankfully, our books came from yardsales.

If you like crappy art and horrible stories, you'll love these books:
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?; 25th Anniversary Edition
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear? My First Reader
The Greedy Python
The Grouchy Ladybug

Deceptively Delicious

by Jessica Seinfeld

As I ease my way into the mid-thirties, my waistline is easing its way into the lower 40's.  So, my wife and I decided it was time to start eating healthy and exercising.  After eating the rest of the cookies in the house, we were on our way to the grocery store to buy fresh produce.  The only problem is vegetables taste horrible.

My wife heard that Deceptively Delicious was supposed to be a great guide on how to get your kids to eat their veggies.   I wasn't about to waste my money on a vegetable-based cookbook, so we ran out to the library and picked up a copy just to try it out.  So far it's been an amazing book.

The main idea of the book is simple, purée fruit and veggies and stick 'em in foods you already eat.  We've only tried a few recipes, but so far, this technique has worked wonders on our kids.

The only fruit I get into our son is the "frosted" variety found in Pop-Tarts.  Thanks to Seinfeld's Applesauce muffins, he ate both apples and carrots (which you can't even taste) for breakfast.  First meal of the day and the kid already had two servings of fruit and veggies.  Sucker.

Three different fruits in one convenient box. Plus, they last longer than fresh fruit.

For lunch we tried the macaroni and cheese recipe.  It's like any other mac 'n' cheese except it has cauliflower in it.  Before you puke all over your computer screen, let me tell you how awesome it was.  If I put any type of vegetable on our kids' plates, the negotiating begins.

The Boy: "Daddy, I don't want to eat this, I'll just eat my hamburger."

Me (wiping a tear from eye, because he finally wants to eat meat): "You need to take a few bites before you are done."

The Boy:  "How about I take three bites?"

Me:  "You can start with three bites, but then you need to take some more."

The Boy:  "How about I take five bites?"

Me: "You can take five bites and then we'll talk."

The Boy:  "I have to go poop."

It's amazing how kids will use emptying their digestive system to get out of filling them.  Amazingly, we didn't have any problems getting him to eat his cauliflower-laden macaroni.  In fact, he asked for a second helping.  Unfortunately, he didn't want to touch the chicken I just grilled (sigh), but, I was so happy he was eating his cauliflower, I let it go and gave him some more.

She ate caulifloweroni AND meat

Two for two on sneaking healthy food into our kids (and ourselves) so far.  With our recent successes, we'll be trying more recipes out for sure and once our library loan is done, we'll have to figure something out.  I'm sure we'll be buying this book before I buy any size 34 jeans.

Deceptively Delicious : Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

by Bill Martin Jr.

"Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, will there be enough room?"  SPOILER ALERT:  There won't.

See. Not enough room.  Letters everywhere.

My son loves reading this book.  I say reading, but it's more like he has it memorized from me reading it to him every night for about three months.  After he finally tired of it and we moved on to the next book (I think it was about spiders), his Pre-K class began reading it.  Our freedom from the lure of the coconut tree's top was over.  More months of reading ahead.

G and H, will you ever learn?

I usually hate reading the same book over and over, but this is one of the few exceptions.  First of all, my son can "read" most of it, so I can lay there and nod off or think about the 15 or so things I want to get done after he's put this book down.  Secondly: "Skit skat skoodle doot.  Flip flop flee.  Everybody's running to the coconut tree."  Nonsense words and rhyming are the two most critical factors in determining the awesomeness of a child's book.  It's not quite as good as The HICCUPotamus, but it's still fun to read.

BONUS:  We recently downloaded a free sample of this book for our Nook Color.  It's one of those "Read To Me" books which is every lazy parent's best friend.  The coolest part is that Ray Charles reads it.  Yeah, that's right, Ray Effing Charles.  For a blind dude he reads extremely well.

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom; Anniversary Edition Available from Bigger Books

The HICCUPotamus

by Aaron Zenz

My wife ordered this book off one of those forms the school sends home with our son each month.  I usually try to throw those things away before she can rack up a bill on them, but she beat me to this one.  Forty nine dollars and ninety-nine cents later, we received this book and about ten more.  I'm glad she ordered.

This book is a blast to read.  These kids love the pictures and I love the nonsense rhyming.  There's nothing worse than reading a book that doesn't rhyme, the exception being when a book rhymes but the author doesn't understand rhythm.  If you clap on 1 and 3 at rock concerts, you shouldn't be rhyming.

There is also a fun '80's movie tie-in at the back of the book.  The author gives a "Cast Bio" of the different characters found throughout the book.  If you get a chance, read this book.

The HiccupotamusAvailable at Bigger Books