Don't Eat Acne Cream. (Poison Control)

At least I made it through two kids without having to call Poison Control.  With Libby's love of all things that can fit into her mouth, I'm surprised it took this long for me to make a call.  The whole ordeal ran the gamut of emotions from frustration, to fear, and then thankfully, to funny.

Frustration:  It begins with noticing that your 18-month old has drug something out of its proper place (yet again) and smeared it all over the floor (see Exhibit A).  This often happens with the contents of her diaper and while that isn't what happened this time, it was, nonetheless, frustrating.

 Exhibit "A"

When I see a mess like this (which is to say "everyday"), my first reaction is to sigh and then let out a loud, "Who did this?", followed by "What were you thinking?" or "You need to clean this up!"  In this case, it was followed by a "What is this crap?

You!  Go get a towel.

 It was Acne Cream, and Leah was all to happy to point out that her sister was the culprit.  When I went to get Libby, I found this:

Please tell me that's powdered donut all over your shirt.

This is only half of the story.  This picture was taken after I had wiped the cream from her mouth.  At the time, I wasn't thinking I needed to take a picture, I was thinking I needed to read the acne cream label--so I did.  And then, I found the poison warning.

Fear:  That's when it kicks in.  Your mind starts asking a hundred questions.   How bad is this stuff?  How much time do I have?  Did she actually eat any?  Why isn't there a stupid poison control magnet on the fridge?

The phone book was no help.  After a five-second Google search, I had a number and was on the phone.  This is when your mind starts bombarding your parenting self-esteem.  "What kind of parent are you?"  How could you let your kid eat poison?"  "They'll trace your call and come arrest you for child endangerment!"  "They're going to take your kid away!"  Sometimes, that last one doesn't seem so bad.

I should have never registered with Insta-Trace.

 The Poison Control operator asked me a few questions and quickly alleviated my fears.  The active ingredient (Benzoyl Peroxide) is more of an irritant than a poison she said.  She told me to give the baby something to drink and not to worry.  That would have been great to know before my brain totally destroyed my self-esteem, but at least it was nothing serious.

Funny:  After all danger has passed, you can sit back, laugh and take some pictures for time immortal.  You can relish the fact that you called a 1-800 number and didn't have to be put on hold for twenty minutes.  You can spread the good word that Benzoyl Peroxide, regardless of the Poison Warning, is not to be feared.  But most likely, you'll stain stick that shirt, give the baby a bath, and lay her down for a nap because you're exhausted.