Grandma - a.k.a. My New Momma

Vacation is supposed to be a fun, stress-free time to unwind from your job, co-workers and mundane home life.  That's cool and all, but for a Stay At Home Dad,  family vacation means your job, co-workers and mundane home life are coming with you.  Stress-free time?  Not likely.

The frustration begins with travel.  Our vacation destination would be a 15-hour drive.  Add in potty-breaks, McPlay Places, and car sickness, you're looking at an 18 to 20-hour pavement pounding and a van that smells like  a Hippie's foot farting.  Air is the only way to go.  Families may bond on road trips, but parents maintain sanity and children stay alive on 2-hour direct flights.

I was nervous about taking Libby on a plane ride, even if it was a short 120 minutes.  She's recently developed this high-pitched scream that would make most 80's hair-metal cover bands envious.  And, like 80's metal bands and their hairspray, she overuses it.  We've never dealt with a tantrum throwing child before and I wasn't about to handle one in a confined space  33,000 feet in the air.  We left her at home in the loving hands of Grandma Laura.

  Don't you love me Daddy? Take me with you.

Those hands were so loving that Libby didn't want to come home with us when we picked her up later.  When Grandma picked her up, we didn't get a single "Bye-bye" or "Love You".  She couldn't get into Grandma's car quick enough.   We got a "Peace Out Suckaz, I'm chilling at Gram-gram's."  When we picked her up a week later, there were tears, those infamous screams, and a slight look of terror that seemed to say, "You're not my parents."

I can't say that I blame her though.  Being the last of three children means she has to fight for  food, water, and whatever else it is that babies need.  Attention maybe?  I don't know.  One week at Grandma's with no brother and sister stealing the spotlight must have seemed like a dream come true for her.  Seeing us again just reminded her of the hell that awaited her back home.  Babies need breaks too.