That's not entirely true.
I've sat in the same seat since 12:05 this afternoon watching Yahoo's Stat Tracker, eating things I shouldn't, and yelling at the television.
They can't hear me either Ramsey.
Then the kids come downstairs and ask me to tuck them in.
Pause.
Thank you Anthony Wood for inventing the DVR. Although you don't use one yourself, sports-fans everywhere thank you that we have the ability to pause, rewind, and watch our own replays frame-by-frame. It's empowering and makes us feel justified when yelling at refs for obvious blown-calls.
As an added bonus, I can also feel like Super Dad and tuck my kids in at night while the Niners and Hawks wait patiently for me to return from my fatherly duties. The kids have my full attention. Kind of.
While the boy and I lay in his bed talking about Power Rangers and the Seven-Legged monster they fought today, I can't help but think what I'm missing. Has Kaepernick ran in a touchdown yet? Who's winning? How much Adderall has Sherman taken?
It's for narcolepsy. Don't judge.
Eventually, the boy tells me he is tired of talking and wants to sleep; he allows me to leave. I come downstairs to find 23 minutes of time built up on the DVR.
Using the "Pause" button to let me tuck my children in at night is great, but here's the real reason to pause the game: 23 minutes of recorded time lets me skip commercials and half-time. I plop down on the couch, confident in my superb parenting abilities, and ready to watch an amazing, commercial-free, half-time-free game.
Play.
CRAP!!! There goes my 23-minutes. I walk back upstairs to see if I can interest Caleb in some more Power Ranger talk.
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