PPR is Ruining America

Baseball season is in full swing and I'm tired of pretending to care.  Living so close to the home of the St. Louis Cardinals means you're either a huge baseball fan or the demon seed of Davy Jones, or worse still---a Cubs fan. 

Baseball is boring.  There, I said it.  It ranks right down at the bottom of the sports list, just above tennis, golf, and soccer.  I don't mind playing any of those sports, but I don't understand how people can watch them on t.v. or even cough up their hard-earned money to purchase a game ticket.

Thankfully, God invented football.

And Sundays.  Also, Mondays.  Oh, and Thursdays too.

And then man invented fantasy football, because he was fat, lazy, and past his prime.  While the rest of St. Louis tries to involve me in conversation about who's pitching tonight's game, why they lost last night's game, and how they'll improve for tomorrow's game (there are too many games in baseball), I'm thinking about mini-camps, draft strategy, and what it'd be like to party with Johnny Manziel.

Don't pretend like you don't want to be there.

I'm also thinking why would anybody want to play in a PPR League.  I've played in one for a couple years now, and I hate it.  It's everything that's wrong with America.  It's anti-capitalism.  It takes from the rich and gives to the poor.  It's like handing out trophies to all the kids.

For those that don't know (Hi Mom!), PPR stands for "Point Per Reception".  It gives a player a point every time he catches the ball.  It doesn't matter how many yards he gets.  All he has to do is catch the stupid pigskin.  Your player caught the ball in the backfield for a loss of two?  No problem, have a point. 

It makes crappy players worth more while devaluing superstars.  It makes the quarterback one of the lower scoring positions.  It boosts the managers confidence in his decision to draft a work-horse tight end or flat-catching running back in the first round.

I don't want to play in a league that considers Darren Sproles a top five running back.  There's no way you should get five points for your quintet of no-yard-gaining check-downs, while Calvin Johnson has to catch a 40-yard pass for the same amount of points.

That's one small step for Darren Sproles, one giant point for the idiot that drafted him.

Meanwhile, 40 yards down field and ten feet in the air, another point is awarded.

I will give PPR props for making the draft more interesting.  Rather than the standard rush on running backs in the first round, managers are all over the place picking up second-rate wide receivers, third-rate running backs and even tight ends (gasp).  But that's the only upside I found for playing PPR.

I actually took the time to researche pros and cons for PPR Leagues.  I'm not a busy guy.  The main reason I found people like to play that format can be reduced to this:  It makes bad players better.

In other words, people that suck at fantasy football, i.e. the other people in my league, got tired of having crap teams every year and decided that if they padded the stats in their players' favor, they might have a fighting chance.

It rewards mediocrity by boosting points---shortening the gap between greatness and not-so-greatness. 

PPR does not reflect reality.  Games are won by yardage, not by desperation plays in the backfield for a loss of yards.  Sorry Darren*.




Mr. Sproles, if you're reading this (I know you are), I want you to know that I kid.  You're an amazing football player.  You're also a prime example of the type of player that PPR benefits.