FUndraising

The only thing I hate more than buying something I don't need is selling stuff nobody wants.  Fundraising.

Let's talk Boy Scouts.   We recently signed our son up for the scout program, partly to get him away from the t.v., but mainly to get him some exposure to social interaction; he's a loner.   So far it's been an "okay" activity.  He argues about going, but once we get there, he usually enjoys himself.  Then, last week, they dropped the popcorn bomb on us.

Now, I like popcorn.  The more butter...the more better.  But what makes an 11 oz. bag worth ten dollars?  Honestly, you're basically eating air.  Delicious, butter-soaked air, but air nonetheless.   They try to make it fun for the kids and give out prizes based on how much crap they sell.  The first level prize is a little wristband and headlamp, so your child can dress up like a coal miner that enjoys biking.

$1.59 on Amazon

1 penny on Amazon

Question...How much popcorn do you think one would have to sell for such a reward?  Answer...$250.  Yes, that's two hundred and fifty dollars worth of caramelized and/or buttery air for a one cent bracelet and a two dollar flashlight.  No matter how hard organizations try to put the "fun" into fundraising, they only end up putting the "F-U" in fun.

If you want to raise funds for your scouts, raise the cost to join.  You shouldn't be hitting up other people to fund your child's activities.  If you'd like to fund my child's activities, please click here.

WARNING!!! Rewards may not be as cool as advertised.

What really annoys me is having to sell stuff for school.  This includes a wide range of things from magazines, to pizzas, candles, and just about any other product found in "Start Your Own Home Business" books.

It's like a frozen pizza, but more expensive.

I understand that schools are short on money.  I live in Illinois, which I believe is second only to California in the race for the most broke state.  We're coming for you Cali!  But I don't think my kids should have to peddle pepperoni or move magazines to make up for the government's lack of budgeting and surplus of spending.  Although, with America falling behind in education, perhaps the schools are just preparing them for future work.

I have multiple problems with school fundraising.  Between an hour bus ride home and two hours of homework, when exactly are they supposed to be selling this stuff?  Here's another thing:  Who are they supposed to sell it to?  Every kid in town is pushing the same product.  It's called over-saturation and it kills profits.  Some people like to argue in favor of fundraising as if it will avoid a tax increase.  Don't try to tell me that if my kid doesn't sell enough pizzas then taxes will be raised.  Taxes, like so many pizza doughs, are self-rising.  They will be raised regardless of how many "Gourmet" pizzas we sell.

When it comes to raising funds, whether it be the boy scouts popcorn or the school's pizza, I do make sure that these papers are taken to the streets.....

....in a large garbage truck.

Disclaimer:  If any girl scouts are reading this, please disregard.  Those coconut cookies are the shit.  Keep 'em coming.