Trunk or Treat

The only way to Trick-or-Treat is to Trunk or Treat.  You make one stop, unload the kids, and load up your bags with sugar, chocolate and bibles.  Bibles?  Yes, bibles.  Most of the trunk or treating events are put on by churches, so you get to enjoy some Proverbs with your Pixy Stix.

Matthew and Mark just can't compete with Mike and Ike.

In our area there are roughly ten to twelve various Trunk or Treats put on by local churches.  So, how do you decide which one to go to?  You don't.  You go to all of them and stock up on candy for the week.  But, for those of you with time constraints or little gas money, you have a hard choice to make.

Lucky for you, I dragged the children along to 3 different events in order to better understand which denomination puts on the best show and gives the best candy.  The Parenting Dad is all about making you an outstanding Dad (or Mom) and let's face it, if you're reading this blog, you need help.  Giving your kids the best possible Halloween experience is one way to show them how awesome of a parent you are.

First Baptist

Our first stop was the local Baptist church.  I wasn't sure what to expect, because most of the crazy religious things I've heard have come from the mouths of Baptists.  But, like any religious group, there are a small percentage of fanatics that make the news and then there are the normal people who practice peacefully.  We were blessed with the latter...and candy.  Plenty of candy.  For our first stop, I was pretty happy with our haul.  67 goodies (including three bibles) were collected in a matter of about five minutes and although I was pleased with our sugary handouts, it would end up being the smallest score of the night.

Baptist Trunks Look Like This:




I liked how easy it was to get through the line. The parking lot was small and the candy came quick. No chit-chatting, no preaching, just get your Tootsie Pops and roll out of there.  Points lost for no food and handing out toothbrushes/paste.

Assembly of God

Next we hit up the Assembly of God church.  These dudes know how to party.  We brought home 71 different goodies in our bag, including another 3 bibles, and the kids got to bounce around in two separate bounce houses and play games.  The candy was on par with what we had received earlier in the night, but the atmosphere was drastically changed.  Loud music, long lines, and kids running around everywhere.  For people dressed as the undead, things sure seemed alive.

United Methodist

If you're looking for quantity, hit up your local Methodist church, that's where we got the most candy (and the least bibles), 76 pieces in all.  You can also find free food (chili and hot dogs), but unfortunately, no games or bounce house.  When we first pulled up we were treated to some loud reggae music and people dancing.  Apparently, we had just missed the start of the flash mob.

Methodists have the best decorated trunks too.I have to say that because one of these trunks is my mom's.  Special bonus prize: Be the first to guess which trunk is hers and you can win a free New Testament/Proverbs/Psalms mini-bible.  3 styles to choose from!





I'd love to be able to tell you more about the Methodist church's Trunk or Treat.  I'd love to tell you how tasty the chili was and to be able to show you more pictures of trunks.  However, halfway through the candy line, Libby decided to give me her own Halloween treat.

It's all fun and games until the baby pees on somebody.

Results:

My life's work.

So which church has the best Trunk or Treat?  That depends.  If you want quantity and free food, go to the Methodists, they gave us the most candy.  For some serious fun, it's Assembly of God all the way.  I hear their morning services are quite interesting as well.  For quality, it's Baptists you want.  The money they saved by not providing food or a bounce house went into purchasing name-brand candy bars like Snickers, Crunch, Butterfinger and more.  Of all the loot we received, they had the least amount of off-brand candy.  These results are in no way meant to be conclusive.  More research is needed and I will gladly dedicate my life to perfecting these results.  These tasty, sugary results.