Do Not Eat Kitty Litter (Especially Used Kitty Litter)

Cats and babies can make for a cute combination.  Cat litter and babies can not.  This is probably the grossest rule we've ever had to make.  Thankfully, I didn't have to actually witness the following events.

The scene of the crime

 I was sleeping away most of the morning (I had just worked my one midnight-shift for the week), so I didn't get to partake in any of this fun.  But, I'm sure my wife would tell you that the words written here can not even begin to describe the horrors of what transpired on a cold, wintry Saturday morn.

Everybody was downstairs in the basement watching cartoons---a Saturday morning ritual---and easing their way into the weekend.  Me-maw even came over as there were plans to get the kids out of the house while Daddy slept.

At some point, the baby broke through her baby gate (by baby gate I mean a coffee table flipped on its side and propped in front of the hallway) and made her way towards the kitty's bathroom.  Whether she was chasing the cat or simply exploring her surroundings, I don't know.  It doesn't matter.  What does matter is this...

...going into my baby's mouth.  To be fair, those little chunks of blue do make it look appetizing.  If I didn't know this was a clump of cat urine and tiny clay pebbles, I'd be inclined to try it myself.   After discovering the baby dining upon doody, Momma and Me-Maw went into action with teamwork worthy of a Nascar Pit Crew and the speed of Colin Kaepernick.

Me-Maw held the baby's jaw open while Momma started scraping kitty litter out. After realizing how much litter was actually in there, the process was moved to the bathtub. Not only did this provide a place to collect the litter easily (the tub), it also gave the Momma-Me-Maw team a means to scrape out the remaining kitty litter---a toothbrush---which we now have to replace. Nothing ruins a toothbrush quicker than cat urine.

After all the litter was removed, the baby had her bath and was ready to put on new clothes.  As Momma laid baby down on the changing table to put a fresh diaper on, she noticed something.  That's right, more kitty litter.

Have you ever eaten a sandwich and had it stick to the roof of your mouth?  Well, considering the baby had just eaten a "shit sandwich", it's no surprise that it stuck to her palate.  Back to scraping.

To top it all off, later in the evening we were eating Chinese food.  I broke off a piece of crab-rangoon and fed it to the baby.  She immediately spit it out with a look of disgust on her face.  Apparently, she'd rather eat cat-piss flavored clay.