The problem is not that the kid played these bloody, violent games and then thought it might be fun to try it out in the real world. The problem is letting your kid play these games alone (that and anti-social behavior).
One mistake parents often make is letting kids have a gaming console, computer, or t.v. in their bedroom. If a kid has all of that stuff in his or her room, I can almost guarantee they're going to be using it in ways you don't want them to. Plus, a room full of gadgets limits the effectiveness of "Go To Your Room!". Chances are with HBO, Skinemax, a PS3, and a 52-inch LED t.v., your kids will gladly go to their room and/or be willing to be grounded all weekend.
Your kid's room needs to be a place for sleeping, getting dressed, homework and banishment, not a miniature man cave. Rip all forms of entertainment out of their rooms, except for a few books (not a form of entertainment), and make them watch t.v., surf the net, or play those ridiculously violent games in the family room. Just be sure you're there when they do. You need to teach your kid the difference between real world violence and blowing up police helicopters in Grand Theft Auto.
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| This is cool. |
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Take these opportunities to talk to your kids about what's going on in the video games and the decisions they're making. If you're having problems initiating conversation, here are a few starting points:
"What drives Kratos to seek revenge?" "Could he have handled his Daddy issues differently?"
"Do you think it was polite to rip out Raiden's skull and spine?"
"Was it necessary to Gaddaffi your victim before decapitating him?"
"Why did you beat up that hooker and take her money?"
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| It must be tough to perform a Fatality while wearing a thong and high-heeled hooker boots. |
But these sixty-dollar investments (okay, more like 30, I rarely buy new games) offer more benefits than just the bonding time between parent and child. Research suggests that gamers have better eye-hand coordination, attentiveness, peripheral vision, and motor skills than non-gamers. Social games, like those commonly found on the Wii, have even been found to improve mental health and decrease aggressive behavior.
But here's the biggest benefit, it relieves stress. And, believe me, it works great. After the 50th request for something the kids can get themselves, I'm ready for a nooner beer and some Assassin's Creed Death Matches. I'd rather have my kid taking head-shots at bad guys in the Himalayas than stewing about the bully at school. Plus, in between popping off rounds from their AK-47 and climbing the beautiful scenery, they get to learn about ancient history. Thank you Uncharted 2.
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| The rich culture and beautiful scenery make it an excellent place to die |
I'm currently playing Batman: Arkham City and some of the conversations I've had with my son have gotten pretty deep. At least, as deep as they can with a six-year old. We talk about good and evil, morality, and wise decision-making. He even pointed out that Batman wasn't being good after punching out an inmate that cooperated and gave out information.
My Son: "But he said,'Please don't hurt me' Daddy. Why did Batman still punch him?"
He doesn't miss much and when we're covering topics like morality and not being an ass, I'm glad he doesn't. I hope that he can learn how to be a moral person, a "Good Guy" ,as he likes to say, and not one of the "Bad Guys". With the help of violent video games, it's something we're exploring together. And, if nothing else, at least we have a safe way to vent.
I think you're spot on that parents should play the games with their kids, so that you have a parenting opportunity instead of a baby-sitting one. I just wonder if parents should still consider the age-appropriateness of certain games. I could get behind Wii Tennis or Madden, and heck, even Modern Warfare... but I don't know if I'd ever want my kid playing Grand Theft Auto.
ReplyDeleteThere are studies that show that the earlier a child is exposed to nudity or sexual deviancy, the more likely they are to have behavioral problems as an adult.
Granted, I don't have kids, so I'm not qualified to really suggest parenting things. But my wife and I have talked about how we'd rather see our kids playing mystery or riddle type games before sports, and sports before shoot-em-ups, and shooting ones before those games with sex or illegal behavior. And our reasoning is simply that we want our kids to be old enough to understand those games.
I agree with everything except your not being qualified to suggest parenting things. I've actually been working on writing about that very topic. Sometimes, those without children can see things from an angle that parents can't.
ReplyDeleteGood post Louie. I agree, when we built our house we had people tell us we should put computer hook ups and tv hook up in each of the girls bedrooms.... Nope not doing it. We explained we had 1 computer (on the kitchen desk) that way we can keep tabs of what they are watching. Same thing with the playroom in the basement. They have a tv for video games and can watch movies but no cable hook up.
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